I guess it’s never too late, for any of it. After pulling up roots and criss-crossing the country, after health issues, loss, and heartbreak, my life is full to brimming again. I’m centered again. And though I didn’t really envision myself doing this again, here I am at age 74, fresh off the internet and wondering what to wear on my date tonight. How did I find my way back?

Chapter 1: I MARRY, I NEST, AND THEN I DON’T

As a settled married woman raising my children in a small town in Pennsylvania where I had been raised, I never imagined the twists and turns my life would take either through my own instigation or through twists of fate.

As it turned out, by the time I was 58, my girls were married and living on the West Coast. My husband and I gracefully and lovingly uncoupled from our 28 year marriage. And my sister –– then my closest tie, my lifelong source of belly laughing and love -– suddenly passed away. I was untethered.

Who was I now? My role as wife, mother, sister had evaporated. My daily touchstones were gone. I felt sad and empty. I had no center. I needed new reasons, new ways, and new places to be.

Chapter 2: I FLY AWAY

The universe came through by sending me on a three-month dream project with a beautiful not-for-profit organization in Santa Rosa, CA –– wine country! It was a short flight to my girls in Portland, Oregon – much closer than Pennsylvania but far enough to make them comfortable while they established their own lives, their own new centers.

As I started my California adventure, I anticipated meeting new friends at work and through dancing the tango. For a list of reasons, nothing clicked with the people dancing, and my coworkers were married and experiencing the sandwich generation thing –– parents who need attention, and kids that haven’t quite launched. They had too much in their lives. I had too little, and my loneliness gnawed at me.

Chapter 3: I LAND, AND LOVE AGAIN

So at age 58 I decided to try online dating. I figured, worst case scenario, I might generate new friendship circles with the men I met. Luckily, the best case scenario happened. I met a lovely man, and we embarked on our romantic journey.

My work project was a great fit, and evolved into a three-year stint as my client expanded ways to use my expertise. Friendships sparked, work was exciting and successful, and even though my daughter’s lives took their own twists and turns – one divorce, and one new baby –– they were both launched. And then they both moved back to the East Coast.

I decided not to follow them. Who knows where they’ll go next year, right?

I’d found my center again. My life was exciting, I was feeling expansive. I moved in with my guy and continued my hot romance and my dream project. And we all lived happily ever after-ish.

Chapter 4: I AM BESIEGED BY STORMS AND PESTILENCE

Out of nowhere, I began to experience back pain that got worse and worse over several years. I became anxious and depressed, and had to reduce my work hours to facilitate an aggressive healing regime. And just as I began emerging from my back pain, my guy was diagnosed with cancer, his prognosis grim. Against all odds, he emerged from his treatment cancer free. But under the stresses of our illnesses, cracks began to show in our relationship.

At this point I was 68 years old. My career was fulfilling and beautiful, but I felt done with it. Done with the corporate world and quotas (even not-for-profits). Done with expectations of a shallow professionalism defined by others which called for me to be inauthentic, to leave my highest sense of humanity at the door.

I was bereft, and I grieved for the loss of feelings of purpose and accomplishment that my work, my avocation, had given me all those years. But I was dead in the water about what should come next.

CHAPTER 5: I SURVIVE

A friend suggested I get coaching, so I did. And it worked! I got clear about what I wanted and what was in my way. And what was in my way? Me!

I made the decision to certify as a life coach.

I also admitted to myself that the cracks in my relationship – huge gaping differences in values and life direction – had become chasms. Again, I was done. And I felt called to go home.

I left my California tribe and my perch on the Berkeley Hills, overlooking 25 miles of the San Francisco Bay, to return to the East Coast to the quaint little beach town of Lewes, Delaware.

CHAPTER 6: I SHOW UP

Within three weeks of my return, my ex-husband began sending out S.O.S. after S.O.S.. Something was seriously wrong, and it revealed itself to be a rapidly progressing form of dementia.

We rallied as a family to help Steve through all of the awful stages of a devastating disease. It was an experience that renewed strong family bonds and deepest connections.

As it became clear that Steve was entering his final week of life, I moved into the assisted living facility with him and was able to be with him through his passing. My head was on his chest as he drew his last breath. It was clear that our bond had never really broken, and though our marriage had become the wrong container for it, our love remained and our family was solid as a rock.

Chapter 7: I THRIVE

It’s nearly three years later. My nest is my own, and I love my life. I look out at the 100 foot tall white pines across the pond as I coach or as I think or as I meditate. I coach a just-right roster of clients from both the West and the East Coast. I drive five minutes to the beach several times each week. My kids and grandkids come often.

I have a new tribe here which started with one old friend. This new group of friends were living rich and fulfilling single lives for a number of years, with expansive interests that vary from kayaking to reiki to global issues. Avid international travelers. It seemed enough, I could go on like this forever. And yet….

Chapter 8: I GO FOR THE ICING

Last year our tribe members started talking about missing a male presence in our lives. Some began dating online, and each has met a lovely man. We have a sweet group, now made of couples who have only met within the last year, or even within the last month. I’ve enjoyed being the 3rd, 5th, or even 7th wheel at gatherings. The guys have made a great addition to the tribe as they are amazingly warm, connected men.

A few months ago I dreamed that I kissed someone new, and I took it as a sign and went online. I met a lovely, positive, successful man who has been through devastating losses and is bent on thriving. I’ve invited him to join our group at a sweet new wine bar tonight.

CHAPTER 9: I KEEP GOING – Because it’s never too late unless I say it is!